We are all doomed

A friend claims these are genuine Q and A's given to high school students age 16.... I make no such claims for the veracity of the following . Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids  A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs              Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery                Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow  Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow                                                                                                                                   Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control  A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium           Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome       Q. What is a terminal illness  A. When you are sick at the airport.           Q.. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight